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Monday, July 29, 2013

Which Way do I Go




I'm not quite sure of the direction in which to take this blog. Blogging doesn't come naturally to me. I don't like to talk about myself. I don't have anything - on a personal level - to offer anyone. I refuse to talk politics and religion. My humor is usually taken the wrong way. What I like most is to tell stories. Fictional ones. And to go on for unnecessary paragraphs of narrative description. There are afternoons I could talk about the clouds for pages and pages. Just because the words that form in my head are pleasing to me, and I want to write them down. I could write short stories that collaborate with my novels, even if no one wants to read them, just because it feels like visiting with old friends.

I like to write unfinished lines of poetry, knowing there's no ending to be had. I like to choreograph scenes around songs. I like to listen to music that isn't considered "inspirational" to the writing world at large. I like to sit, for long silent stretches, thinking. This past week, I took a break from blogging and book-writing to put some effort into literary mag submissions, and that's been the devil. When I write a book, I'm totally relaxed. Writing a short story for an intended audience - a high brow audience, no less - makes my palms sweat. I doubt and doubt myself until the story ends up being something clunky and slow, because I was too nervous to write like I always do.

I would love to find a wider slice of my audience. I want to find the people who want to read my books - find more of them. All my blogging, Facebooking, Tweeting...that feels like standing in the center of an empty auditorium and shouting at no one through a bullhorn. Distinguish yourself, the pros say. Distinguish myself among thousands of others distinguishing themselves? The trick is to find the people who want to find my books. People like me. When I discover an author I like, I read all of her books. I don't ever want anyone to feel obligated to read my books - I want people to be curious, and to be touched, and to want to read the rest. There's no joy in coercion, only in the true smiles of readers who found a moment of enjoyment in something I've written.

So I guess what I'm saying is bear with me. I would love to post more fiction pieces on here and I'll probably be brainstorming out loud. I should be editing Made for Breaking right now, but it's the loveliest morning - not at all like July. And I have this little scene in my head I want to put on paper...

4 comments:

  1. i know what you mean about the bullhorn/auditorium. keep following your passions and go with your gut. you're going to become a better writer and happier person because of it. i like that brain of yours!

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    1. Thanks for the encouragement, Lesley! I just need a little kick in the pants every now and then :)

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  2. I enjoy everything you write. I love your books, I love your poetry, even though sometimes it may be too deep for my brain and I like your brainstorming and thinking out loud. Its all good!!! Just keep it up, follow your dream and eventually others will discover you and you lovely ability to put words on paper. Just because people don't say anything, doesn't mean they aren't listening. Some people are nervous to comment for fear of what others may think. Me, I have never let that bother me. I am what I am. Who said that?

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    1. Thanks! I get nervous now and then and start to doubt what I'm doing. I appreciate the support so much!

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