amazon.com/authors/laurengilley

You can check out my books on Amazon.com, and at Barnes & Noble too.

Wednesday, December 29, 2021

2021 Recap


 

How has 2021 been both the longest and shortest year on record? Lord. Anyway, it's that time again - recap time. 

I thought to start this post by expressing my disappointment in myself for not accomplishing all that I set out to, because I did not in fact meet all my professional goals and I am indeed disappointed in that fact. But I'm thinking about something that my mom has said to me over and over this year: "Give yourself some grace." I've been really self-critical this year, and I think that has only worsened my stress and chronic pain. Every time I felt poorly, and couldn't get hold of that sharp, bright brain power that fuels my best writing - when I had to stay off the computer - I berated myself, and that helps NOTHING. Ugh. So let's see if I can set disappointment aside and focus on the good stuff. 

I was able to put out three books this year:

Edge of the Wild - Drake Chronicles Book 2

Vanish Into Light - Hell Theory Book 3

Blood of Wolves - Drake Chronicles Book 3 

All three were fantasy of a sort. I'm shocked and proud that I managed to write a trilogy (okay, there was a novella, but does that count?) and actually stick to it. No 5, 6, 7 book monstrous series with dozens of sub plots. Those are my FAVORITE, but I'm glad Hell Theory managed to do its thing and finish on a mostly positive note. That's such a funky little series, and mostly the result of binge-rewatching Hannibal last year. Though, given my longtime obsession with Saint Michael - and I think my other work reflects this - it's not that surprising. 

Then there's the Drakes, which started on a whim, and which has turned into the fun, mostly lighthearted, intricate epic fantasy story I wasn't sure I'd ever get to write. EOTW is my favorite so far, with regards to how fun it was to write. BOW, though, offered a chance to write a proper castle siege, which I'll need to do a lot more of when I eventually get around to writing Lionheart. Why do I have to pick the MOST complex and controversial historical figures to write about? 

I started a number of WIPs this year, some of which I hope to publish in 2022. The one with the largest word count at the moment is The Wild Charge - which I'm going to take a step back from in the coming weeks. I don't think Dartmoor will ever be anything save the series that inspired the most abuse and criticism from self-proclaimed "fans," and I'm just exhausted at this point. 

One thing I will say, for a moment...an aside if you will. Nothing has seemed to make followers angrier than the times I call for civility and kindness. "Please don't come tell me you don't like/won't read my work to my face, on my personal pages," I say, and am met with profanity and assertions of having lost readers. "I spent hard-earned money on your books." Yes, you did. You bought a book - you bought a product that I hope you enjoyed. But. If I may... That was an exchange. You bought a good. You got something out of it - it wasn't a donation. When you enter a restaurant and pay for a meal, you are paying for a meal - you are not paying for the privilege of throwing a drink in your server's face. If you bought my book, I hope you liked it, but that $3.99 - of which I only see a dollar - does not buy anyone the privilege of insulting and belittling and dogpiling on me on one of my pages. You'd be incensed if someone walked into your house and insulted your new haircut. Me asking for civility in my own back yard, essentially, isn't untoward. 

SO. Anyway...lots I need to write, lots I want to write. I'm hoping for a healthier 2022, physically and mentally. 

On a reading front, I read lots of books I want to recommend, and while I wish I'd bothered to do full write-ups all along, I'll just share the titles now:

A Desolation Called Peace by Arkady Martine

The House of Niccolo Series by Dorothy Dunnett

A Slow Fire Burning by Paula Hawkins 

Subtle Blood by K.J. Charles 

Mended With Gold by Lee Welch

Thrown Off The Ice by Taylor Fitzpatrick 

The Angel of the Crow by Katherine Addison 

Lord of Chaos by Robert Jordan 

A Place of Greater Safety by Hilary Mantel 

Reread of Broken Harbor by Tana French 

Reread of various Sherlock Holmes mysteries. 

Crusaders by Dan Jones

I also bought myself an anatomy drawing book, and I'm excited to dive back into sketching and painting as one of my resolutions. I miss the visual arts, and think it would be a good way to wind down in the evenings. 

Wishing everyone a Happy New Year - and hopefully an actually happy one, for all of us. See you next year :) 

Sunday, December 12, 2021

RIP to the Queen



 

 "In the winter of my twenty-first year, I went out alone on horseback to kill a pack of wolves."

~The Vampire Lestat


Writers write because they love stories; because they love the sound of words, and the shapes of sentences, and the way lines in ink can conjure the realest of images in the mind. You start as a reader, as a devourer of books, until you're so full of words that you have to rearrange and contribute them to the field; it's no longer enough to simply read - you have to write. You have to give the words back. And you can't write a proper book without having read many, many books, some of which you cast aside like dandelion seeds - and others you press between the pages of your mind like the most precious of blooms, dried and saved for later. 

Sometimes, you come across not just a book, but an author, that grabs you. And then sits you gently down in a comfortable place, offers you a warm drink, and says, "Settle in. This while take a while, but it will be worth it." A book that plucks your imagination like violin strings. An author's whose voice is so immediately immersive and special and inviting that it feels like that book was written just for you. Like the author knew what you wanted, or what you maybe needed without knowing it. Knew all the little aesthetic buttons to push, knew the way a description of the lift of a hand, the dousing of a candle, the flash of light on yellow hair would be so pleasing to you. Anne Rice is one of those authors for me. For me, reading her books is like having my imagination step into a cozy room, kick off its shoes, and snuggle in, nourished and happy. 

I think the title of "Queen" gets tossed around far too frequently in bookish circles. Each week there's a new "Queen of ___" touted. Books of the moment, books with good sales numbers. But Anne Rice truly was the Queen of Vampires as we know them today. There's shades of Anne in all modern vampire narratives. Aside from Count Dracula, I can't think of a more famous vampire than the Brat Prince himself: Lestat de Lioncourt.


"Everybody was sick of Count Dracula. They thought it was marvelous that I was pretending to be the Vampire Lestat."


She leaves behind an incredible legacy, a body of work that I will cherish always. I love vampires, and creatures of the night, and the way her quest of understanding, her theological and religious questions found their way to the page - but I think the thing I love most is the way her books always feel utterly and entirely hers. She wasn't writing for the market, or for the numbers; she wasn't mimicking a popular style to cash in on a trend. To read her books is to know you're reading only the work that she most wanted, or felt like she needed to write. 

An immense talent, and a particular voice that will echo for generations. Rest in peace. Mrs. Rice. Thank you for sharing Lestat and his bloody family with us all. 

Thursday, December 2, 2021

Soup Brain




My brain's been about as useful as an expired, cold can of cream of mushroom between my ears this week, so I wondered if blogging about it would help. At least heat things up a little. Give it a stir. I think the culprit is a combo of hormones, end of year burnout, and leftover Thanksgiving stress. It's also a little bit of expecting too much with regards to being able to dive right back into big daily word counts on Monday. 

The final push to get a book released, those last two or three weeks, is always consuming. Other WIPs get pushed to the side and that about-to-release book becomes my sole focus work-wise. It's difficult to enjoy reading or pay attention to a new show. The creative part of my brain gives way to the pragmatic, and by the time I turn the book loose...soup brain. Every time. The answer to this, I know, is to take a few genuine rest days, recharge mentally; read, watch movies, refill the well, so to speak. You have to consume art in order to create it. This year, though, once I wrapped BOW, I dove right into party prep mode, and that didn't end until last Thursday night. Cue a half-dead Friday of binging Hallmark movies and doing absolutely nothing. I thought I'd be ready to roll on Monday, but, well, there's been the whole aforementioned cream of mushroom situation. 

Right now, the only WIP I want to tackle is one I Absolutely Shouldn't, one that Literally No One Asked For, and which is Not A Part of My Ongoing Series. 

So that's of course the one I want to work on most. Le sigh. Every time I think about Lionheart, and the fact it was supposed to be out last year, it adds another shovel of anxiety on top of my Generalized Writer Anxiety. And then there's TWC to finish, and Drake book four, and a half dozen other abandoned WIPs. Stress inspires new WIPs, which in turn inspires more stress, and the vicious cycle repeats and repeats. 

I've tried (unsuccessfully) to convince myself that three releases in one year is perfectly acceptable, though it doesn't feel that way at all. I think I'll dabble this next week, write a little of one thing and then a little of another, and see if a breakthrough will happen. 

Or watch a ton more Hallmark movies. Either or. 

Here's hoping things are less soupy soon. But now I want actual soup...darn. 

Monday, November 15, 2021

The Wild Charge




If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, then you've (hopefully) seen the chapter by chapter updates of The Wild Charge as I post them over on Wattpad. I started posting in July, and, now that Blood of Wolves is complete, I'm going to spend the next few weeks knuckling down on TWC. 

I just posted chapter 19 this morning, so if you haven't heard about it yet, and want to get caught up, you can start chapter one HERE.

This is Dartmoor book 9, and it picks up right where Homecoming left off. The club is facing their biggest challenge to date in trying to bring down an international sex trafficking ring, and it's all hands on deck, with appearances from most of the cast and plenty of side-story action. But, at its core, this is Reese and Tenny's book. Our assassin boys are growing and adapting to life within the club, and most of that's down to their relationship with each other. So far, things have been a little slow, and a little soft, and I'm really enjoying getting the chance to tell this story in installment form because I get to layer in the light and fluffy before the sh*t hits the fan. And, boy, does it ever hit. 

I've received lots of questions about the book's completion date, and the answer is: I'm not sure. I post each chapter as I complete it, so, while I'm going to be working hard on it the next month or so, I have no idea when I'll actually finish. I'll publish the entire, edited book once it's complete, but I'm sorry to say there's no firm date. 

In the meantime, you can enjoy Reese and Tenny in bite-sized chunk form.

Friday, November 12, 2021

Debriefing - #BloodofWolves


 
Blood of Wolves has been live in the wild for a week, so it's time for a debriefing. Spoilers abound! Turn back now if you haven't read it yet. 

You can grab it HERE on Amazon, and I swear I'm getting it ready for BN and Kobo, too.

The book picks up right where Edge of the Wild left off, with Oliver and Erik trying to get down off the mountains, and with the Sels anchored in the harbor back at Aeres. With threats looming all around, it was a book that demanded more-or-less nonstop action on all fronts, all of our characters caught partway through seasons of change and growth. 

Wednesday, November 3, 2021

Blood of Wolves: Now Live!

 It's here! Bet you never thought I'd finish, huh? Neither did I, some days. It was a long, busy summer full of lots of distractions and construction noise, but the third installment in the Drake Chronicles is finally here! 

Buy on Amazon

I'll have other retailers up soon. In the meantime, thanks for sticking with me, and I hope you enjoy the continued adventures of our king, his consort, and all their loved ones. There is so much more to come for everyone, and I'm really looking forward to book 4, and what it means for a certain necromancer. 

If you enjoy the book, positive reviews are much appreciated!



Lord Oliver and King Erik’s party survived capture with the help of some unlikely allies, and now hurry back through treacherous mountain paths to the site of the Midwinter Festival, where Northern celebration turned to bloodshed. From Dreki Hörgr, the ancestral seat of the North, the lords of Aeretoll will march back across the kingdom, wounded, exhausted, and waiting for Ragnar’s next strike.

All save Oliver, who will take to the skies – with the help of a rather petulant Corpse Lord.

In the city of Aeres, Tessa has made her choice of husband, but a wedding will have to wait because the Sels have set anchor in the harbor, and a siege is imminent. Being a Northern princess, she quickly learns, involves a fair bit of swordplay.

In the third installment of the Drake Chronicles, it’s a race for home, a prayer for strength in battle, and the magical truth behind what it means to have the Blood of Wolves. It is part of an ongoing epic fantasy series intended for adult audiences, including M/M and M/F romantic pairings.

Wednesday, October 20, 2021

Early Reflections #BOW


 


Typing THE END never gets old. There's always a point in the writing of every book, somewhere between 50-60k words, when I become convinced I can't finish. But then I do, and then it's time for editing, and proofing, and promotion, and diving into the next project. Right now, my priority is getting Blood of Wolves into everyone's hands, and then, after, working where and when I can as the holiday rush begins. 

As I've wrapped up this third installment of the Drake Chronicles, I've been thinking a lot about the direction in which I want to take this series, and my intent with it. Despite some violence and bloodshed, and the ever-increasing prevalence of necromancy courtesy of one bratty Corpse Lord, this series is much lighter in tone than some of my other fare - and that is most definitely by design. Themes of power, and privilege, and leadership are certainly present, but the overall tone of the series is far less grim than, say, GOT. (Some day I'll blog coherently about the ways the show ignored all the books' references to history and classic literature and just bulled right ahead with a misguided attempt to create a purely post-modern epic fantasy, but today is not that day.) Sons of Rome is fantasy rooted in the real world, with all the real world's baggage and blunders; I wanted the Drake Chronicles to feel more like a fairy tale: true escapism with a softer edge. 

Another thing I decided, early on, was to keep the books to a more manageable length. SoR is full-tilt fantasy pacing along the lines of Jordan or Sanderson. Fat, doorstop books that fully explore the histories and motivations of our characters. I'm taking the same approach to character development here, with the Drakes, but it's less doorstop, more bite-size installment form. It IS still fantasy, however, which means the story is ongoing, evolving, and I'm not sure, at this point, how many books it will contain. I originally said "upwards of five," and that's definitely true, but I've seen it referred to as a trilogy, or as a definite five-book series, and neither of those is true. I don't know how long it will be - as long as it takes to resolve all the character arcs. 

That's the common thread running through all my work: the focus is on the characters. The themes may be different, the tone, the style, even, but it's always character-driven. Dartmoor is - well, let's face it, despite my early efforts to spin it as some sort of sultry Southern epic - more or less just cheap debauchery at its finest. Down and dirty contemporary with (mostly) tidy storylines in each book, genre its main appeal. Hell Theory is weird, dystopian erotica. Sons of Rome is my big, ponderous, diesel-engine slow-build series, where I get to play with all my favorite tropes, themes, and storytelling devices. And then there's the Drakes, sweet and fluffy as fresh snowfall, but with that dangerous undercurrent that makes fantasy so damn fun to read. 

I'm off to crawl into my editing spiderhole, but be on the lookout for BoW teasers and updates and so forth. I'm very excited about the way the title of this book ties into the story itself. Every story needs werewolves. Given enough time, I think I could even figure out a way to put wolf shifters in Dartmoor 😉

Tuesday, October 12, 2021

#BoW Teaser: The Consort and the Corpse Lord

 *Has not finished the book yet*

*Holds out lengthy Oliver and Náli-centric teaser as peace offering*



So far, Oliver had learned several truths about flying:

One: ascent and descent were the most thrilling aspects. When your stomach dropped, and the world tilted, and the dragon’s strength became most apparent.

Two: once up at a good flying height, where the drakes could glide along without working too hard, flapping only occasionally and maintaining a steady elevation, the thrill of peeking down through the clouds lost some of its shine. Oliver didn’t want to say it got boring, but, well…it was rather quiet. With just the rush of the wind in his ears, and the monotonous slap of cold air against his face.

Speaking of which…

Three: flying up in the high, cold air for long periods chapped his lips and his cheeks, and left his eyes dry and stinging.

“Gods, I can’t do this anymore.”

Four: when he wasn’t besting anyone in a duel, or playing the imperious Corpse Lord, Náli was an absolute brat.

Friday, September 10, 2021

Updates and Such

It's been a minute since I've done an update post that wasn't something quick on Twitter or FB, so I thought it might help to consolidate the info and hopefully get everyone up to speed. 

Long story short - it's been a busy summer, with contracting crews in the house off and on since March and lots of around-the-farm projects to tackle before cold weather sets in. Throw in being sick, and I've been far less productive when it comes to writing than I wanted to be. Last year, for only the second time ever, I managed to release five projects - but that's not usual. I'm a lone wolf indie without a "team" behind me - by design, at this point, because I enjoy doing things my way, thanks very much - and so the whole publishing process isn't the speedy, book-a-month churning-out of work that's come to be expected from indies and self-pubbers (also, more "authors" than you think are groups of ghost-writers working in tandem to produce books at an alarming rate, so, those "standards" are skewed...).

Anyway. Suffice to say I'm not where I want to be, which means Blood of Wolves is still in progress. I'd hoped to have it out in August, but I'm still writing, and I don't have a set date. I don't really do set dates as a general rule, because I'd rather take the time a story needs to develop rather than rush toward an arbitrary finish line. So, right now, I'm going to say October, but please be aware that this is subject to change. 

I've had quite a few questions across mediums about The Wild Charge, and my answer is the same as when I began posting the book: I don't know when the final product will be available for sale. I'm posting each chapter as it is written, and it is not my primary project. Some weeks I get out two updates, and some weeks I don't work on it at all; it just depends. It's free to read on Wattpad, and you can find it HERE, for now.

As for Lionheart...man, I hate to say it, but I haven't written more than a handful of sentences for that big boy all summer. Sons of Rome is my pride and joy, my favorite series, my favorite group of characters - but it is an incredibly time-intensive, mentally-demanding project. The threads of past and present, the blending of real history with the paranormal bits I've invented demand a more tranquil writing environment than what I've been able to foster this year. I need to get some other projects released, and then clear some time in my schedule so I can work on LH and LH only for a little while. I'm so, so appreciative of the patience for those of you waiting for it - all wonderful three of you, lol. I love this series to bits, but I know its audience is incredibly tiny, so, sadly, it's had to get pushed to the back burner over and over the last two years. 

All that's to say: I don't have release dates for anything. I will be putting something out this fall, hopefully soon. BOW is the closest to complete, and also the priority right now; The Wild Charge has low interest on Wattpad (as I predicted earlier this year), so it's just a whenever I feel like it sort of thing, and LH is on hold until I can give it the time it deserves - epic fantasy is not a quick, dirty endeavor, and it IS epic fantasy, not to be confused with anything else. 

That's all for now. Everyone have a great weekend, I'm going back to work. 

Here's a BOW teaser to tide you over:



Percy lifted his head, buckles on his new bridle jangling as he swung around to look at Erik – to greet him, Oliver realized, as the drake leaned in close and huffed through his nose, breath stirring Erik’s hair. Erik lifted his free hand – because he carried something tucked under his arm with the other, Oliver saw – and placed his palm gently on the end of Percy’s nose.

Saturday, July 10, 2021

An Announcement

I have an announcement. 

Ooh, boy, the flu kicked my ass for two weeks. I had a few days in there when I started to feel a little better, and then would backslide. But now it seems I'm finally back on track. For obvious reasons, I didn't get much writing done in those two weeks, which puts me behind my personal goals, which is annoying. But I did do a lot of reading - a lot of fanfic reading - and a lot of thinking. About a lot of things.

I've always loved fic. I love the creativity, and the bite-sized chunks of character deep-dives; the ways writers expand on characters I already love and fill in all the gaps of story canon. From a writing standpoint, that's always been the way I work best: telling a story one chapter at a time. Blocking off a few months to write an entire manuscript in solitude, hoping people will actually read it once it's done is grueling. I've honestly never understood the way some readers reject installment-form stories: I would rather a story never finish, but have given me what enjoyment it could than never have read any of it at all. Better to have loved and lost, right? 

When I started back to work, I spent half a day reading through the docs in my WIP folder, and, on reckless impulse, opened up my Reese and Tenny doc. I said months ago that I was washing my hands of that series because I'm sick to death of the hassle and bullshit people have given me about it. Like hell was I going to set aside my fun fantasy projects, block off four months, and write a book that I'm still not convinced will actually be read. But I read through that doc - I've got 23k words done on it - and...it didn't suck. In fact, I really liked it. Because even if I'm sick to death of being considered a one-trick pony, even if there are moments when I don't even want to speak the word "Dartmoor," Reese and Tenny were the thing I was looking forward to. I wrote Lone Star and Homecoming for the sole purpose of setting up their book. 

I have a love/hate relationship with Dartmoor. I never wanted to write an MC series, but when the jackals swooped in and started lifting whole-ass scenes from my fanfics to put into their self-pubbed biker books - when a few had the audacity to ask if they could "have" my ideas if I was "done with them." Then? That was the gauntlet throw-down. I was going to take my ideas back, and I was not going to write an MC romance series - I was going to write a series about a messed-up found family that happened to be bikers. 

I've been incredibly proud of certain scenes and moments. But over the years, realizing that the series was never going to be what people wanted, being bullied, and harried, the shine wore off. The bad outweighed the good. I didn't want to write a series *just* for the biker aspect - I wanted to write for people who genuinely loved the characters and were willing to follow them down some genre-atypical roads. 

I was honestly surprised by the number of people who reached out, after my March blog post, both in public and private, urging me to change my mind. Some of those people asked for more Dartmoor. 

And some of those people wanted to read the rest of Reese and Tenny's story.

So. I'm doing this for the Reese and Tenny lovers. Because I love them, too. And because, despite all the bad, I know there are quiet, kind fans out there who I'll be letting down if I don't see this thing through. 

But we're doing it on my terms. I will not be badgered into anything. I'm not setting out to write an MC book - no checking boxes on anything. These boys were raised as assassins and spies, and those themes are going to be front-and-center. I won't be delaying my other projects, so The Wild Charge will be published chapter-by-chapter on Wattpad, just like Snow In Texas and Tastes Like Candy. I'll start by posting the chapters I already have completed, and, if there's interest and enthusiasm, then I'll keep writing and adding chapters until the story is complete. 

Here's the thing, though: I'm not going to tolerate any nonsense. If anyone feels the need to leave a snide or disparaging comment on my FB page or blog, I'm deleting it. There are public spaces where you can say whatever you want, but, to quote Ghost, my personal pages are "the United States of [Gilley] and your First Amendment rights do not apply here." If you don't like M/M books, don't like "spy shit," and are mainly concerned with the Motorcycle Club aesthetic of the series, then I'll say upfront that this is not the book for you. If you can't read until the whole thing's available, fine, but you don't need to come tell me that. 

Like I said before: this is for Reese and Tenny. It's for the sweet readers who really are interested in them. I have no idea if that group of readers is large or small, but I guess we'll find out. I'm also doing this for me, because, if I stop worrying about delivering a bog-standard "MC read" for the general audience, then this is going to be a kickass, smutty action/adventure story with a wild plot and plenty of Devin Green's brood. 

The prologue and first two chapters just went up on Wattpad. Be forewarned that this is an M/M romance with explicit sex, lots of violence, intrigue, spec ops and spy action, and a healthy dose of childhood trauma. Usual trigger warnings apply: graphic sex, torture, gunplay, you know, all that. Mercy is a trigger warning all on his own. 

When you're an artist, the weigh to expectation can feel crushing. It's important to remind myself every so often that I don't have to do anything that I don't want to; the weight can only crush you if you let it.

Fans, thank you.

Haters, to the left. 



A storm is brewing, and the Lean Dogs find themselves in the center of it. What at first seemed like a routine clash with a cartel proves to be part of a much more sinister - and more powerful - operation than any of them expected. The Dogs have a choice: back out now, play dumb...or go full-on vigilante. 

Tennyson Fox has a new name, a new home, a new family...and, if he can admit it to himself, the chance to love and be loved. He and Reese - trained assassins both - will be at the spearhead of the Dogs' move on Abacus, and the two young lovers have to balance their burgeoning relationship with the thing they do best: killing. 

Book nine of the Dartmoor Series picks up right where Homecoming left off. A non-standalone M/M romance set in the world of an outlaw motorcycle club and the dark underworld they rule. 

Read it Here

Saturday, July 3, 2021

How to talk about my writing without really talking about it


 

How to talk about my writing without really talking about it (and to talk about my current fangirl hyperfixation):

About a year ago, I broke down and bought a Funimation subscription. It’s been so worthwhile, but today I want to talk about one anime in particular.

Except, really, this isn’t a post about that anime at all. Not really. You’ll see.

I watched the first episode of BNHA (My Hero Academia) and thought: hmm. On the one hand: superheroes!, which, I’ve loved comics since I was a very little kid. On the other hand: I don’t know these characters, it’s all new, the world isn’t familiar yet, and…Izuku cries…a lot. I was conflicted. But, after my initial hesitance with the first ep of Fullmetal Alchemist, I decided to keep going. Why? Because every story I’ve ever loved wholeheartedly was one that left me hesitant at first.

Anyway: I kept watching…and then kept watching. And then was binging. And found a show – and a manga, because I started reading when I ran out of episodes – that contained all of my very favorite things. A big ensemble cast full to bursting with characters that I loved. Characters who were flawed, but trying, and who were all different. Characters who started out as sides, but, once they had room to show their stuff, proved just as lovable as everyone else.

Here was the kind of hero content the Marvel Cinematic Universe utterly failed to deliver to me, and I was hooked.

Season five is airing now, with new eps every Saturday, and it’s got me so hyped I’m rereading chapters of the manga and rewatching favorite episodes – especially this past week, when I’ve been laid up with the flu and feeling bad. Last night, I rewatched “Suneater of the Big Three,” because I love Tamaki, and “Red Riot,” because I love Kiri. Gosh, season four was good. My favorite characters are Bakugou, Shouto, Kirishima, Endeavor, and Hawks. And Izuku. Deku. Who, at first, was a kid I didn’t know crying too much, but who is actually the most earnest, driven, hardworking, big-hearted sweetheart who defies all the hang-ups of the “chosen one” trope and is just the best main character ever.

The thing about this story – which originates in the manga and has been carried forward in the anime – is that it unfolds slowly. Five seasons, 318 chapters, and the kids are still in their first year at UA. It isn’t a blistering, get-to-the-point sort of story. Thank God. I tend not to prefer those. No, this is a thorough, varied story that has poignant, deeply emotional moments interspersed with silliness and fluff. It’s a story about aspiring heroes who’ve dealt with so much, but who are still very much teenagers, and of their mentors: heroes who, while revered, are very real and flawed people. The juxtaposition of Endeavor acknowledging his faults and beginning to atone with the knowledge that Hawks always idolized and felt saved by him is just – chef’s kiss, truly. Deku and Bakugou’s childhood friends, to enemies, to now respected rivals and allies dynamic is perfection.

Not to mention: the villains are very well-thought-out, too. Dynamic, and with very tangible backstories. I don’t root for them at all, but you can’t help but empathize when you see their backstories. It’s such well-rounded, compelling storytelling throughout. I have been surprised again and again by the moments, and characters who’ve moved me. Nighteye. Fat Gum. Aizawa. Heck, All Might. I never expected to care so much about All Might, but I really do. I don’t really watch scripted dramas anymore, because I can’t stand the post-modern, grimdark approach of most. Not since binging FMA have I felt such love for a show/story.

But this isn’t a post about BNHA. This is a post about stories. About the fact that, sometimes, though the bigger picture isn’t clear at the outset, it’s so worth it to start down a path and accept the fact that you’ll have to learn about things along the way. The version of me that wondered about episode 1 didn’t know how eager I’d be to wake up early last Saturday to watch episode 101. That first episode – the first five, ten episodes – couldn’t account for all the action and emotion that was to come. Because that’s the thing about long-winded stories: they build on all that came before it. What might have seemed subtle or confusing at first can blossom into something truly amazing. Some stories don’t give it all away in the first five minutes. Sometimes, you have to keep going, and the cumulative effect is something impactful and lasting that you never expected.

That’s the kind of story I want to write. That’s the kind of story, right now, that I am writing. And that is why I love stories that are just a little bit fantastical and unreal. That’s why I’m so looking forward to Blood of Wolves and Lionheart. Because the stories I love best take their sweet, sweet time.

Thursday, June 10, 2021

New Book: Vanish Into Light

 And with that, the trilogy is complete! 



The final installment of the Hell Theory trilogy, Vanish Into Light, is now live, and you can grab it HERE.

The series began last year on a bit of a whim. In Hilary Mantel's The Mirror & The Light, she details Thomas Cromwell's confiscation of Catholic relics across England, one of which being the figure of Saint Derfel astride his stag, one of King Arthur's lesser-known knights. Derfel - post-death, in his saintly form - was said to be able to venture down into the depths of hell and retrieve souls. 

In the novel, the line reads:

He thinks about Derfel, his powers. Why would you want the damned fetched back from Hell? There's a reason God put them where they are.

Immediately, I decided I HAD to write about that. What resulted was our funky little tale about murderers, and lovers, and angels and demons wearing human skins. Beck is a very loose, modern interpretation of King Arthur, though his name - his last name - is a reference to Thomas Becket, Archbishop of Canterbury, who was brutally murdered by knights in the service of King Henry II...King Richard I's father. (Will I ever stop twisting and circling back to certain figures and themes? Never.) And whose skull was (possibly) dug up and desecrated by Cromwell. 

As for the other characters: Rose is of course Guinevere, and Lance is Lancelot. Gallo is Galahad, and Tris is Tristan. Gavin is Gawain - again, loosely interpreted. Captain Bedlam is Bedivere. Kay is a stand-in for Arthur's brother Kay. And Morgan is Merlin.  

I've always toyed with the idea of writing a King Arthur book - a proper one, in which, as fabled, he returns in service to his country at its time of need. But this, friends, is not that book. This is weird, and dark, and fun, and I hope you'll enjoy the conclusion. I'll leave the door cracked, in case I ever want to return, but for now, here's where we leave our trio.

(Side note, just for fun: I always have a tertiary character to whom I become attached, someone I end up liking much more than I should, and in this book, that's Damien.)

Reading Order:

King Among the Dead

Night In A Waste Land

Mystic Wonderful

Vanish Into Light

The titles are all lifted bit of Lord Alfred Tennyson's poem.



Tuesday, April 27, 2021

#TeaserTuesday - Blood of Wolves

 I have three main projects I want to put out during the remainder of this year - the beast being Lionheart, which I love, and which I'm seriously wondering if I'll have to split into two volumes in paperback form (Amazon only prints up to 835 pages). Given the sheer size and scope of it, I expect it in the fall.

But before that, we've got Vanish Into Light, the third and final volume in the Hell Theory trilogy (I always reserve the right to return to that world, later), and that's what I've been spending most of my time on the last few weeks. 

Also this year, hopefully late summer, is the third - but not final - installment in the Drake Chronicles. I'm not sure how many books this series will end up being - upwards of five, I'm thinking, because I'm having a blast with it and there's lots to explore - but for now, we'll just focus on book three: Blood of Wolves. This book picks right up where Edge of the Wild left off: in the mountains with Erik and Ollie; in an Aeres under siege; and in Drakewell, with Amelia, and her new sort-of friends, and her pack of dragons. There's so much still to come, and it's going to be fun

One of my favorite things so far is getting to write Náli's POV for the first time. 




 

For most, early childhood – those tottering years before the mind began keeping careful record of happenings – was a blur of color, and sense memory, and sound that triggered indistinct recollections later in life, with a few bright, crystal points that stood out, edged in a child’s technicolor wonder. Those were the first memories; the memories that stayed preserved and precious like oil portraits in one’s consciousness. Usually, these memories were of a parent, on older sibling, a nurse or a nanny.

For Náli, it was Mattias.

The image of a boy’s smiling face, his hair already styled like that of a Dead Guard: the head shaved close save for a single, thick stripe down the center of his skull, kept tightly braided at all times, a single tail that slapped against his back when he rode, or slid over his shoulder when he bent over a map to show Náli something. A boy’s smiling face, and a boy’s high, musical laughter; his hand warm and large and safe around Náli’s, as he urged him along. Safe. He’d always been that. Always the cup of warm tea when Náli was flagging; the cloak draped over his shoulders; the insistence on sleep; the strong arms that caught, and lifted, and carried him, when talking to the dead overwhelmed him into unconsciousness.

Always “my lord.” In the voice of a boy, of a teenager, of a man grown, larger, and stronger, and more alive than Náli had ever been, or would ever be.

For two centuries, now, the lords of the Fault Lands – their lives interwoven with the wax and wane of the fire mountain, with the safety of the entire duchy, and even the kingdom – had been guarded from all harm, and doted upon by an elite force of five warriors, selected as boys, raised with their charge the way a sheepdog was raised with lambs. The Dead Guard were trained as knights and assassins both; learned warcraft, and statesmanship at their master’s hand. They took no wives, and fathered no children. When their lord died, they retired to a life of seclusion, in a quiet valley called Naus Fell.

Náli’s Dead Guard were cousins Danski and Darri, Einrih, Klemens. And the captain – a captain since age ten, when he was named to the Guard, Mattias. He knew them all, their faces more familiar than his own reflection, but it was Mattias who’d impressed himself upon a toddling boy of less than a year; who’d scooped him from his crib and toted him around on his hip, as adept as any nursemaid, but more fun, always fun. Always with a story to tell, and a gentle hand cupped round the back of his head when Náli cried. He’d had nightmares his whole childhood, and it was Mattias who’d slipped into bed with him, and held him close, and whispered to him of far-off lands, where it was warm, and the fields danced with flowers, and no one ever had to draw magic out of their bones and wake the dead.

If Mattias had died at Dreki Hörgr, when Ragnar had forsaken them all, then Klemens would become captain, and another Guard chosen to fill the empty space.

If Mattias had died at Dreki Hörgr, Náli was going to dig his corpse from the snow and bring him back, so help all the gods, or he would die trying.

Tuesday, March 23, 2021

The Long Game: of flowers, Foxes, and story tending

 


Let’s talk about the long game.

Let’s talk about reader expectation, and delayed gratification, and exacting scenes placed amidst a vivid big picture.

Let’s talk about the long game – and in the spirit of spring, let’s talk about it in garden terms.

If you walk through a flourishing garden in the middle of summer, you might see a trellis heaped with climbing roses; waving stalks of purple salvia; thriving gardenia hedges and bright cosmos and zinnias. All of it’s working together to create a complete, harmonious picture…but at the outset of spring, they all emerged from the soil at different times. Some plants need more time to grow before they bloom. And in the case of the climbing roses, it took at least three years before the canes reached the top of the trellis: first they sleep, then they creep, then they leap. Some plants reseed naturally, and some have to be dug down deep, and watered thoroughly. Some die off and need replacing each spring, like the tulip bulbs, and some are perennials that reappear every year on their own. The garden as a whole is lush and wondrous, but each individual plant requires a different sort of care. Be it seed depth, water amount, or soil ph, every stalk of that garden needed special attention so that it could contribute most beautifully to the overall portrait.   

So too, when writing a series, does each character need his or her own special care so that they can contribute most beautifully to the overall story arc. A book series is made up of dozens upon dozens of smaller story arcs, and trust me: I am ALWAYS playing the long game.

With rare exception, I don’t write standalones. Whether it’s Dartmoor, or Sons of Rome, or Hell Theory, or the Drake Chronicles, I’m always deeply-invested in the small, intimate moment at hand, and highly cognizant of the chapters and books that lay ahead. Each scene for each character is steering them toward those larger moments of growth and self-actualization. Some characters arrive as potted plants, already thriving, simply in need of a little maintenance. And some characters are the most unlikely-looking, potato-esque bulbs that need to be dug way in, watered heavily, and which finally surprise you at the end of summer. Some characters resolve most of their issues in a single book, and others take a whole course of books to end up where they’re going.

But for me, they were ALWAYS going there. Some stories take longer to germinate, that’s all. And if readers are thinking that I am – for some unknown reason – writing tidy, standalone romances, and nothing else, that delayed gratification is going to be a pretty bitter pill to swallow. Because, see, I haven’t changed my approach. It’s the long game or bust for me. But sometimes, if that long game isn’t what readers are searching for, they wind up disappointed.

So, let’s talk about that.

Let’s talk about Fox.

We first meet Fox at the beginning of Snow In Texas, when Colin walks into the Texas clubhouse and finds a rather unassuming man with very blue eyes sitting on a bar stool. At that moment, I knew that Fox had been trained up as an assassin, that he was cold, calculating, and peculiar, and that, of his eight half-siblings, he was the most like their father. I think the thing that readers found immediately fascinating about him is the very thing that makes him such an unlikely lead POV character: to put it bluntly, he’s mysterious. It becomes quickly apparent that he isn’t like the other Dogs. Local boys who were mechanics, or brawlers, or teenage runaways, all of whom found a home amongst the club. For all that he can blend into any situation, Fox sticks out like a sore thumb by comparison. He’s fine with this. For all that he does love the club, he thinks of himself as a bit extraordinary, if he’s being honest.

When I announced that I was beginning work on a project called White Wolf, people began clamoring for a book about Fox. In the case of many angry emails and messages, they demanded a book about Fox instead of White Wolf. Thus began the ongoing four years of gaslighting and insult from people who enjoy telling me they won’t read or don’t like anything I write that isn’t about bikers.

I didn’t want to write a book about Fox. Why? Because his story was part of a long game that I didn’t think people were going to go for. I was being emailed plot “suggestions” for a Fox book, most of them involving Fox shacking up with a single mother and settling down. Finally planting his wild roots. But Fox doesn’t HAVE wild roots. He isn’t aimless; isn’t a broken man waiting to be made whole by the love of a good woman. He isn’t wounded. Fox is shockingly well-adjusted. He isn’t repressing his feelings – he just doesn’t feel things all that deeply. Fox loves, and Fox protects, but he doesn’t have that inner, aching loneliness that mark Walsh and Albie. Fox is, in fact, a bit empty – a condition that we see him grappling with in his own quiet, subtle way over the course of Prodigal Son, Lone Star, and Homecoming.

I told everyone I wouldn’t write his book, and after some of the hate and abuse I received, I felt pretty okay with that decision. I don’t write books according to prompts or suggestions. I write books that follow a character’s journey. Character first, character first, character first.

But then in 2016, I went to see Captain America: Civil War. Thus began my long, slow realization that, despite adoring some of its characters, the MCU was more focused on plot than any kind of meaningful and deep storytelling. Also, in light of the writers saying that Bucky had to go into the deep freeze because, quote, “he deserved it after killing all those people,” I reconsidered writing a book about Fox. More accurately: a book about Fox’s family. About his father, and his siblings, and his new, lost, tenth brother, who wasn’t a boy at all, but a weapon. I was never going to write a book about Fox melting when he found the love of his life. But this – this tale of authority using pawns for their dirty work…this was a story I could tell, and wanted to tell.

I’d already told a half-dozen stories about gruff bikers finding true love. Fox’s book was always going to be a part of the long game. We’d seen what happens when broken men carve out their own kingdoms and set up shop in the underground. Now it was time to explore the other side of the underground. You don’t live and work in hell without running afoul of other demons. Who better than a criminal organization to tackle a government organization?

To put it bluntly, Prodigal Son didn’t go over well with readers. Most people seemed not to like it, and the sentiment continually expressed was that readers had “expected more” from Fox. On the one hand, I didn’t want to write the book for exactly this reason: it was never going to be a mushy romance and I knew that could be a problem. On the other hand…I’m not sure what anyone did expect from Fox personally, as a character, given what I’d already revealed about him. From the start, he was presented as irreverent, a little tone deaf, blunt, and downright rude. He shared the hard truths, and he didn’t sugarcoat them, but he wasn’t trying to be an asshole. He just didn’t have use for tact. He wasn’t a big guy, but he was deadly. Expert with gun, blade, or martial arts, he could also speak a dozen languages and don any accent, any persona, any facial expression at the drop of a hat. His skillset isn’t normal amidst the MC. From the beginning, it was quite obvious that Fox had been trained. That he’d studied, and practiced, and was a master chameleon.

I’m honestly not sure why the spy angle was a shock. He was always a spy. Any story focusing on him and his family was always going to go the spy route.

Because I don’t claim to be a writer of standalone romances, I didn’t feel compelled to force Fox into a role that would egregiously damage his character integrity. I always say that I have to know what makes a character most vulnerable before I can write his story, and in Fox’s case, it wasn’t his love for Eden – and he does love her, in his own Foxy way, as we slowly learn going forward – that left him most vulnerable, but his hatred of his father. His fear that he was too much like his father; his resentment of all of Devin’s secrets, which all get dragged out into the light in PS.

Is the whole assassin bit, with Tenny, and the underground facility, and Devin’s past over the top? Sure. The whole series is over the top. I mean, come on. Mercy? Freaking IAN? Yeah, the assassins aren’t a stretch. And it HAS to be over the top in order to explore some of the topics we get to with Reese and Tenny, and even Fox: that of autonomy, and personhood. Of killer skills, and dark impulses, and the wearing of masks. We’ve explored the concept of one-percenters about as deeply as we can, and PS – Fox’s backstory, the intro of Tenny – launches us on a road to a whole new way to explore the Dogs and their underground empire. Prodigal Son isn’t your favorite? Cool. Everyone has favorites. But I’m always playing the long game, remember, and it’s a necessary seed in the garden, one with deep roots that needs time to germinate.

Which brings us to the present. To the moment of blooming. And once again, I find myself hesitating. Because all that “spy shit,” as one reader so nicely put it (the review was later amended) isn’t going away. It’s still there. It’s still Fox’s history. Tenny is still a boy raised as a weapon struggling to find the human underneath. And even though I teased a book about Reese and Tenny, and it would take place on US soil, it’s a book that will address and draw upon both those boys’ skills. Reese’s efficiency and Tenny’s masks will be in full deployment. Lone Star and Homecoming rolled the ball forward on the long game, and the plan for the next book involved lots of big, twisty, action-and-angst heavy stuff. A long and involved story that would challenge the club like it had never been challenged before, and put Reese and Tenny to the ultimate test. Lots of sex and romance, sure…but lots of that long game, too. Lots of spy and assassin stuff.

I’ve already received some messages/emails/comments from people who say they won’t read it, or who want me to write about other characters instead. I will once again remind that I don’t write to order. This isn’t Burger King, y’all. I don’t take a survey before I sit down to write a book. It’s the long game or bust, and I think a Reese/Tenny book could be really cool.

But I have to ask myself: If Prodigal Son was such a let-down for readers, what’s to make me think a Reese/Tenny book wouldn’t be also? Am I opening myself to more DM abuse a la Prodigal Son vs. White Wolf? I was told in no uncertain terms that writing about Fox was the ONLY way to please certain readers, and now I can see that the same thing is already happening after simply teasing Dartmoor 9.

I’ll be real honest with y’all: it doesn’t give a gal much hope for a different outcome. I took the teaser chapters down off the blog, and, as of now, I’m thinking that if I’m going to play the long game, it’s best played in other fictional arenas.

Sons of Rome, Hell Theory, and now the new Drake Chronicles are all playing the long game too. The Drake Chronicles are more like a genre romance, with lots of steam in each volume. Sons of Rome plays a much longer long game: all those little seeds of Nik and Sasha from White Wolf didn’t bloom until Golden Eagle, but, oh, wasn’t the delayed gratification worth it?

I guess it just feels, sometimes, like I’m trying to tend this garden. Carefully, slowly, patiently, giving each plant its own special care. But that it’s expected that I just shove a shoddily-wrapped carnation bouquet across the counter instead. In an impatient world, I don’t really know how Dartmoor fits into the garden equation, but I won’t go down a familiar road when the warning signs are already flashing.

What I can say, though, to the supporters, is thank you. If you’ve left a review, or dropped a kind note, or liked, or shared, I honestly can’t thank you enough. You always brighten my days, and make all the garden-tending worthwhile.

 

Sunday, March 21, 2021

EOTW: Fave Lines


 


Edge of the Wild - now available for Kindle HERE - is one of the most romantic, sentimental books I've written, but it also has the most banter. One of the things I enjoyed most was the dialogue. Narrowing down my favorite lines proved challenging, and I've left some off the list, but in no particular order, my faves are:


“I’ve never cared about you enough to hate you. I hate that I’ll have to marry you, or someone like you, for the sake of my family.”

**

“Oh, I’m full of truths, but they get so covered up by my being a pompous ass no one usually notices.”

**

“You’re useless with a sword, from my understanding” – Oliver shot Erik a dark look which he couldn’t see, lashes still lowered – “but your liege there is insisting, and I have to agree.”

My liege,” Oliver parroted. “Can my liege not teach me himself?”

“I have very many kingly things to attend to.” 

**

“Leif,” he murmured, chest aching. “You don’t have to worry about all of us right now.”

The wry twist of Leif’s mouth was far too knowing. “Was there ever a moment when you stopped worrying about all of us? Have you ever not thought like a king?”

**

“Shall I open up the window and let you throw them right out into the snow? It might save you a step.”

**

“Do you think that I have ever, for a second, wanted anyone the way I want you?”



**

“I could box his ears, the bloody, contrary fool. A king. A king. Talk of impertinent – I send him to work out a marriage contract and he tumbles the king? The gall of him.”

“Mother, I think this morning has firmly established that we can’t help who we fall in love with,” Amelia said, dryly.

Katherine let out a slow breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Gods above, I shall have to explain this to people. Lady Matilda is going to laugh in my face.”

**

“Do you remember that time you told me that dragons existed?...This now? Tonight? Twice as alarming.”

**


“I wonder: what did you tell them, Ragnar? I’m not sure I like ‘paramour.’ It makes me sound like a strumpet – rather than the man who saved your sorry ass from a cold-drake.”

**

"Mothers have to be indelicate sometimes, when the truth is anything but.”



There are more! But those were the ones that jumped out to me this morning. That last is my favorite: Bjorn with a flash of brilliance when it's needed most. 

Friday, March 19, 2021

New Book Alert: Edge of the Wild

 



Sometimes, storytelling is a process of careful research, planning, crafting, theorizing - as is the case with Sons of Rome. I've been working on that series in some capacity since high school, and it's my baby, and my most meaningful work, and also an absolute bear to wrestle most days.

But other times, storytelling is drawing on your years of already-accumulated reading and researching, and, on a whim, throwing the dice. That was definitely the case with Heart of Winter last year. I said, "Hey, this sounds fun." And it was

Epic fantasy is my first love, and I'd always had a nebulous idea of writing a sword-and-sorcery, dragon-featuring fantasy series ~at some point~ in the future. But 2020 was a crazy year, and a year that seemed ripe for taking some creative leaps. About worrying less about an idea being the most unique thing ever, but about it being something worthwhile and deeply interesting. Like with the Hell Theory series, which was my King Arthur, Hannibal, Legion mashup that turned out to be a lot more interesting to write than expected. 

I've been fascinated with Norse Mythology since my first childhood readings of Tolkien, and I've already done all this Viking research for SoR (Val and Vlad's mother Eira is a Viking, remember), but hadn't been able to do much with it yet. So with the Drake Chronicles, I pondered, "What if Peter Jackson wrote and directed the Game of Thrones TV adaptation, but it was super romantic?" And then I went out and did that, and by the end of that first book, I realized oh, I'm doing it. I'm doing my epic fantasy saga. Book one was fun - but book two was FUN. I love second books; I love expanding the world, and digging deeper into characters. I have never smiled so much while reading my own work. I'm super excited for everyone to read it, so, without further ado, I give you:

Edge of the Wild (The Drake Chronicles Book 2)


“Your lordship.”

It’s a title Oliver will have to get used to: in just a few short months, he’s gone from the bastard son of a dead duke’s equally-dead brother, plain Oliver Meacham, to Lord Oliver, the royal consort of King Erik of Aeretoll. Still uncertain of his place amongst the Northerners, but cautiously hopeful that what he’s found with Erik is real and lasting, his new relationship is put to the ultimate test on the journey to the annual Midwinter Festival: a meeting of all the lords and clan chiefs of the North, across the treacherous Northern Wastes. It doesn’t help that he keeps having these visions…of blue light, and antlered shamans…and dragons.

Lady Tessa Drake traveled North with her cousin Oliver as escort with the intention of wedding King Erik. But it was Oliver who captured Erik’s heart, and Tessa was instead offered the hand of Erik’s elder nephew, the handsome and kind-hearted Prince Leif. But with Leif away at the festival, and Tessa left behind at Aeres, she finds herself growing closer and closer to Leif’s younger brother, Rune, who’s recovering from a grave injury, and putting butterflies in her stomach.

In the South, in the duchy of Drakewell, Tessa’s older sister, Amelia, spends her days scouting for outlaws with her men-at-arms – and her nights in the arms of her oldest and best friend, Malcolm, a guardsman she loves, but can’t marry if she hopes to secure an army to defend her homeland from the invading Sels. Her mother wants her to marry one of Tessa’s foppish former suitors, but Amelia has bigger things to worry about: namely, the strange happenings in the Inglewood, and the claims of “beasts” roaming there.

The second installment in the Drake Chronicles is full of action, adventure, steamy romance, danger, necromancy, magic, and, finally, actual live dragons. It’s time for the Drakes of Drakewell to learn of the power that runs in their blood, just in time to save their respective kingdoms. Featuring M/M and M/F pairings, this is an ongoing epic fantasy romance intended for adult audiences.