“What’s in the bag?”
Aidan asked, gesturing to it with his sandwich. He had a mouthful of meatball
sub, though, so that’s at least what it sounded
like he asked. He sprayed crumbs down into his lap and a dab of marinara sauce
dripped out, unnoticed, onto the knee of his jeans. Because he was a fucking
slob who wouldn’t appreciate what Mercy had in the bag at all.
amazon.com/authors/laurengilley
Friday, February 9, 2018
Ava/Mercy Valentine's Day Short
In a perfect world, I would write a little snippet for each couple. Assume the rest of the Dartmoor crew had similar evenings. 😄
Saturday, February 3, 2018
Writing 1104: Diction
Diction
Diction is word choice, and for
an author, word choice is…pretty much the entirety of your job. No pressure.
No, but seriously, I think of it
like this: if you’re choosing to write for fun, or for profit, there’s a good
chance you love words, and arranging them together to form sentences,
characters, and stories is more fun than piecing together Legos as a kid.
Writers express themselves through words, and the words they choose in particular have the ability to affect
a reader’s perception of the story. Smart, sophisticated word choice can make
the difference between a scene and an engaging
scene. Diction can also take a vague passage and make it unique and specific.
Here are my personal rules on the
topic:
Be Specific
Sometimes – as was the case in a
line I wrote this morning – your wording can be vague in order to express a
character’s struggle to understand something. In the scene, Trina was looking
at Lanny and struggling to pin down his expression; she couldn’t decipher the
way he was looking at her. But in general, it’s best to be specific. Sometimes,
I think a lack of specificity indicates that the writer isn’t sure how he or
she wants to describe something. But immersive writing is bolder than the way
we talk to one another every day.
In conversation, you might say,
“It was kinda cold on the boat.”
But written effectively, a
sentence might read: A cool breeze lifted off the water, raising goosebumps on
her arms.
Instead of “kind of cold,” or
“sort of cold,” or “a little bit cold,” you could use words like cold, frigid, artic, freezing; or cool, chilly, tepid.
Don’t say someone’s eyes are
“weird-looking.” Tell me that they’re reptilian,
or predatory, or stormy, or pale, or flinty, or dark, or warm, amber-colored.
Be Correct
Typos happen. Even in NYT
bestsellers put out by the big publishing houses. That’s understandable, and
unavoidable. But when you’re deciding to use a word, make sure you know what it
means and that you’re using it correctly.
That seems like a no-brainer, but
it’s important. If you can’t tell someone what a word means…go look it up.
Double-check it if you have doubts.
The trickier issue is using a
word that isn’t wrong, per se…but
could be better. A word that has mostly
the same meaning, but not quite.
A common example is the way the
words mumble, mutter, and murmur are
used interchangeably – when in fact each word holds a slightly different connotation.
To mumble is to say something at a
low volume, quiet and indistinct so that others have trouble hearing it. This can be conscious or unconscious – someone
who’s asleep and dreaming, or who’s delirious with fever, might mumble incoherently.
Muttering, however, implies that the
speaker is angry or irritated, dissatisfied. “Screw you,” he muttered. If it’s said with the intention that
someone or something go to hell – that’s muttering as opposed to mumbling. By
contrast, to murmur is to speak
quietly, indistinctly with a positive energy. A murmur can be romantic,
intimate, or lonesome. Nostalgic. Murmuring is gentle, soft.
“I don’t…I can’t…” he mumbled,
shaking his head, eyes squeezing shut.
“This is so stupid,” he muttered.
“Stay with me,” he murmured.
I once saw an author describe a
character’s gaze as “jiggling around the room.” I knew what the author meant –
that the character was looking around the room, gaze jumping from person to
person, searching. But the word choice was poor. Jiggle made me think of Jell-O. Of my own thighs when I walk. Of
testing a door handle. It also brought to mind plastic googly eyes that roll
around when you shake a stuffed animal. Authors are always looking for new,
original ways to say things, but that spirit of originality shouldn’t be taken
so far that diction suffers. Gazes can dart,
can flicker, can jump, can shift, can sweep…all would have been better
alternatives in this instance.
Vocabulary Building
The best way to improve diction
is simply to read. Read a lot. Read widely. As a reader, you’re under no
obligation to read anything but the books you enjoy most. But as an author, I
take serious the responsibility that I should write with correctness and
authority. So as a writer, I would recommend that you read outside your comfort
zone. Read critically-acclaimed literary fiction. Read horror. Read sci-fi.
Read Classics. Read romance. The more widely read you are, the better grasp you’ll
have on the ways language can be used to greatest effect; the better your
vocabulary will be. As you read, take note of words; look up the ones you don’t
know; study the way each particular author uses diction to impact meaning. Take
note of passages that inspired negative emotions; pick apart your preferences
and you’ll start to find patterns in the way you want to use language in your
own writing.
Monday, January 29, 2018
RRJ 1/29
We are rolling right along. 62k words as of finishing this morning's writing block, and lots more left to write. Sequels are my favorites because that's when I get to really crack the characters open like eggs on the side of a bowl and see what they're made of.
I wanted to share some of my favorite lines from last week's writing:
Red Rooster
Copyright © 2018 by Lauren Gilley
“Lanny,” Steve said, brows knitting in concern.
“How did this – are you okay?”
“Oh, yeah.” Lanny shrugged, and Nikita could tell
his bravado was entirely fake – in the part of his brain that was managing to
catalogue all of this and read emotions. “I’m cool. I mean, I wasn’t. This guy”
– he jerked a thumb at Alexei beside him – “didn’t even ask, or anything. I was
pissed. But. Yeah, so I had cancer…? Was kinda dying. I guess it all worked
out.” He shrugged again, inelegant caveman that he was.
***
"You’re having second thoughts.” She smiled a
fraction when she said it, pleased that she’d figured him out. “Why?”
Jake held her gaze stubbornly for a long moment,
and then caved, glancing away, exhaling tiredly through his nose. He’d never
before been the one to back down first in a game of chicken; but he guessed he
wasn’t the same man he’d been then. The Major Treadwell who’d sacrificed
himself for his unit had died in a desert inferno; the blind man who’d crawled
back, who’d been given a second chance and the leadership of this hackneyed
team, wasn’t so unwaveringly sure of himself.
***
“Do vampires eat breakfast? ‘Cause we’re making a
literal ton of food.”
“I dunno about him, but this one does,” Lanny
said, and smiled wide enough to show his fangs.
Mom blinked at him, then sighed, expression
becoming resigned. “Young lady.” Her gaze came back to Trina. “You’ve got a lot of explaining to do.”
Friday, January 26, 2018
Descriptive Writing
Descriptive Writing
I’m a detail person. I don’t
think that comes as a shock to anyone. It’s just a part of who I am; a
wallflower, an introvert – I’m the person who sits quietly and notices things
that others might have missed. Because it’s the details that mean the
difference between seeing something
and understanding it. You can watch
two horses move freely in the field, and they might both be finely-bred,
wonderful horses. But the horse with flat knees and a lower-set neck will make
a better hunter, while the horse with rounded knees and long pasterns will have
more expressive movement. A man might be generically handsome, but it’s the
little shy tuck of his chin when he smiles that makes him beautiful.
I’ve wanted to be an author since
I learned it was a profession – it happened sooner than I thought, but it’s
always been a goal – and the heady aspect of it is this: as a writer, you have
the ability to affect a reader’s emotions and perceptions with your words.
Think about that for a minute; it’s a head-rush. As a writer, you have an image
in your head, and with black type on paper you can transfer that image to
someone else. Through words, readers travel to foreign cities, foreign
countries, foreign worlds, and we, as
their guides, steer them along, showing them all the wonders we’ve imagined
through the eyes of our characters. Am I being melodramatic? Yes. So let’s
break down the mechanics of it.
Tuesday, January 23, 2018
#TeaserTuesday - Red Rooster
I shared a portion of this in the SoR readers' group a few days ago, but I wanted to share a larger segment for #TeaserTuesday. Slight spoilers? Not really; mostly just setup for book three.
Red Rooster
Copyright ©2018 by Lauren Gilley
The baroness had brought him a mirror. A compact,
folding one of the kind ladies carried in their purses. “I know you think
you’re so slick,” she’d said, laughing fondly, “but I see you trying to fix
your hair. I just thought.” She’d grown serious. “You might like to have this.
And this.” A simple plastic comb that nearly brought tears to his eyes.
“I don’t need these,” he’d said, gruff to cover
the emotional clog in his throat. “I can make myself look however I want when I
go dreamwalking.”
“Sure. But that’s not the point, is it?”
“No…no, I suppose it’s not.”
Thursday, January 18, 2018
RRJ 1/18
Red Rooster Writing Journal
48k words and hoping to break 50 tomorrow.
The structure of this installment is of three separate - though related - storylines that all converge for the big finale. They are the New York storyline, the Virginia storyline, and the Wyoming storyline, and all roads lead to Virginia.
I had THE epiphany on the treadmill two nights ago, and it brought the whole storyline together. I was grinning like an idiot to myself, so pumped and excited...now I've just got to write it all down. *cries*
This series is the first time I've ever written about true historical figures. Once I got past the initial fear that I will Screw Up Big Time, I realized it was an absolute blast, and incredibly interesting. For me it's like watching a film, and then writing obsessive essays about the characters' motivations afterward. It's like my favorite kind of literary paper - the character study. In school, whenever possible, I wrote character studies as opposed to literature analyses. I read this amazing Vlad biography over Christmas break, and while the true story of the Impaler and his brother is fascinating, it was also largely filled with speculation - and not very deep speculation at that - as to Vlad and Radu's (Valerian in my books) thought processes. I now get to go in, armed with the facts, and construct their thoughts and emotions during all that, and that's just a nerdy dream, let me tell you. So I'm incredibly excited to introduce my humble interpretation of Vlad in this book, and start digging into the mountain range of issues that lies between the two brothers.
Today's writing focused mostly on the NY storyline, and I'm loving getting to draw the parallels between Trina and Katya. Theirs is a family of badass ladies.
Favorite tidbit of the day:
“I can’t sniff anyone out, or Jedi Mindtrick
anyone, but I can cause a distraction. And get some useful intel out of the
idiot. What do you say?”
Lanny sent her an approving look.
Jamie buried his face in his hands.
Alexei looked at her appraisingly, head cocked to
the side.
Nikita sighed, and finally nodded. “Carry a gun.”
She felt her smile widen. “I’m never not carrying a gun.”
Red Rooster
Copyright © 2018 by Lauren Gilley
Wednesday, January 17, 2018
Writing 1103: Punctuation
Punctuation
Punctuation is, just in general, a boring topic. It’s the
necessary nuts and bolts of writing; nothing flashy or pretty about it. But,
like the essential underpinning of most endeavors, it’s one of those things
that can make or break your work. Mainly because punctuation has the power to
change the meaning of your work.
Proper punctuation helps readers understand what you’re saying clearly; it
makes the book more readable and more visually pleasing.
Rather than a dry, textbook walkthrough, I’m hoping to word
things my own way here, in this post, so that it’s a little more enjoyable to
read about, and to hopefully highlight things in a more practical way.
Specifically, I’m going to talk about commas, semicolons, and colons.
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