How Far We've Come

Yesterday, I needed to flip through a chapter of White Wolf to double-check something for Golden Eagle, and it was one of those rare, but sorely-needed moments of going: Oh. Look how far we've come since then. It's so easy to feel like you're standing still while the world is in a time lapse sequence around you. Especially when you're writing. Especially when you're writing something like this that takes so much time and extra attention. 

But it's worth it. 

Maybe not in a purely economic sense. But artistically - yeah. Worth it. 

I try to avoid Goodreads at all costs, mostly because it's a very hostile place for authors, but also because, as a purely social site geared toward readers, I think it fosters a sort of speed-read, competitive, money-driven approach to reading that rubs the academic in me the wrong way. The focus seems to be - in large part - on how many books can be read in a short amount of time; it's about finishing rather than savoring. There's lots of skimming and skipping to get to "the point." 

Before anyone tells me that this is a perfectly valid approach to reading, don't worry, I know it is. It's just that it isn't my approach to reading. And I don't write books intended for those kinds of readers, either. Because "the point" isn't what makes any story special. If we're just talking about "the point," then why write full-length novels at all? Why not just post synopses? 

The point of my series is that life is hard. That sometimes it really sucks. That we all live at the whim of those more powerful than us - and that power can makes monsters of almost anyone. 

But that there are good souls, too. And that love is important; love is the thing that makes all the terribleness worthwhile. 

The point is that Nikita loves Sasha more than life. 

The point is that Trina is stronger than she may ever know.

That Alexei is, ultimately, the son of a goodhearted man who did terrible things because of his upbringing, and his position as autocrat - and that Alexei has the chance to learn from that past and do better. 

The point is that Valerian is the reminder no one wanted that war isn't just clashing swords and exploding cannons, but the smaller, more insidious abuses of power. 

The point is that Vlad is the hard truth no one ever wants to examine too closely. 

But I belong to the literary camp that believes none of those things hold any emotional weight if you're simply told them. If the story is fast and dirty and cuts right to the chase. Telling you that Nikita was a Chekist would have a completely different impact than showing you what his life was like during the war. Saying "immortals have heightened senses" is not the same as letting you stalk prey through a Russian forest with Sasha. 

Nikita saying "You are my whole heart" in Golden Eagle wouldn't have the same heft if you hadn't followed along from the start. 

The scope of this series scares me sometimes, because it is so much work. And there is so much left to do. The things that thrill me about it are also the things that needle at my anxiety. Because it isn't the sort of thing I can dash off quickly, with frequent releases. It's something that's going to have a cumulative effect; it won't be until a ways into the first book that readers find themselves hooked. The big picture isn't immediately visible through the mist and snow. It's too big, and too wild, and maybe no one will want an entire book about Fulk le Strange falling in love with his Anna in 1867, while she turns his own knife on him, and screams in his face, and while her sister is being sedcued by a mage. 

But it's going to be so fun. And everything I've ever had that was worth a damn was a very long and slow road. Sometimes people buy flashy horses and go start winning ribbons right away. And sometimes, instead, after months and months of nursing and therapy, all alone, under the lights one night, you see that first glimpse of something wonderful that no one else thought was there, and you know all the blood, sweat, and tears were worth it. 

Ignore me. Just feeling kind of emo today. And also really, perhaps prematurely, excited about this big silly book I'm working on. My Romanian prince x Russian killer x Russian Prince x Badass detective x Robin Hood's Merry Men teamup is something I didn't think I'd ever get the chance to pen, but here we are. 

Golden Eagle is slated for a December release, so if you like epic low fantasy set in the modern world with a side of vampires, now's a good time to check out White Wolf, book one in the series.