Life Lessons in Steel Shoes

Cosmo's bridle, on the wall of my room

WARNING: This post has nothing to do with writing.

This week, I acknowledged the anniversary of my Cosmo’s passing with a heavy heart. I’ve lost both my boys now – there will always be horses in my life, but there was only one Cosmo, only one Skip. They had four legs and they couldn’t talk and they were just horses, yes, I know I always sound like one of those crazy animal people when I talk about them, but those horses were a part of my growing up years. My life-shaping years. My learning what it’s like to become a decent human being years.

Four years ago, on a chilly April night, I held Cosmo’s massive head in my lap as the vet pumped that last drug into his veins. I could feel the moment his heart stopped beating. Watched his eyes turn to glass. And in that moment, a whole lot of things made perfect sense to me.

There are variations on a similar saying floating around out there, but I can say with absolute certainty that: Everything I ever really needed to learn, I learned from my horses.

Be kind whenever you can

Tell someone to go to hell when you need to

Be honest

Be fair

Be loyal

Fight for something

Be patient when you’re teaching someone something new

Let your respect be earned, don’t give it away for nothing

Don’t be cocky

You don’t have to BE a man to stand up and take it like a man

There are no princes and princesses

Falls happen

Sometimes you need to have your guard up

A good lead horse looks after his herd

Earn things, don’t expect them to be handed to you

Be the one who runs into the fire

Work hard, work hard, work hard…and then work harder

They gave me the strength to dig in my heels, to be five-feet-one-inch of oh-hell-no-you-won’t. They helped me understand that there are lots of people in this world who don’t care about you, don’t like you…but that those people don’t matter: it’s the ones who love you who count.

It’s not the wind in your hair, it’s not freedom, it’s not being taller, stronger, being in control…the most amazing part of inviting horses into your life is coming to realize that these tall, strong, powerful creatures, these grazers, are full of personality. Of life. It’s the connection that’s important. The conversations without words. The quiet. The peace. To know that you’re grounded in a world that’s concrete and real, and that there’s more important things in that world than you.

A starving, half-dead, sickly horse named Cosmo showed me that there’s a difference between being broken and being defeated: broken things can be mended. Broken things can shine. And oh how he did shine.

A little red Quarter Horse with the cutest ears proved that being mediocre can be pretty special too.

Be happy, be content, indulge in a little sugar now and then. And don’t ever be afraid to be somebody’s happily ever after, even if it breaks your heart: horses give you the best years of their lives, and it’s our responsibility as their people to look after them in their golden years. My boys deserved to be loved until the day they died, and that’s what I did. The tears were worth it. So worth it.